Men’s Safe Space Forum: Starting The Conversation That Saved Lives in Enugu
In celebration of International Men’s Day, the Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation (CALMHAF) hosted the Men’s Safe Space Forum in Enugu under the theme “Starting the Conversation” – raw, undiluted, and honest.
Men from every walk of life – entrepreneurs, civil servants, fathers, retired soldiers, clergy, community leaders, and professionals – sat together and, for many, spoke openly about their lives for the very first time in an environment devoid of judgement and the pressure to perform.
Anchored by an exceptional panel – Reverend Chukwudiebube Nwachukwu (Founder, Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation and trained mental health practitioner); Mr Chukwuma Ephraim Okenwa, Founder LEAD Network Africa; and Professor Anselm Obi (Urologist and Chief Medical Director, Alpha Specialist Hospital Enugu) – the forum tackled the issues that silently crush men.
The issues that silently crush men included: the unrelenting pressure of the provider and protector roles, financial struggles, sexual health challenges, family relationships, decision-making under stress, conflict resolution, and the toll all of these take on mental and emotional wellbeing.
Every participant received a free mental health screening using questionnaires, giving many their first objective glimpse into anxiety and depression they had been carrying alone.
What Actually Happened When Men Were Finally Allowed to Talk.
The room became sacred ground. No lectures, no shaming, no “man-up” clichés. Just men listening to men.
Fathers admitted the terror of not being able to pay school fees. Husbands confessed years of silence that had turned into resentment at home.
Men spoke of erectile difficulties and the secret fear that they were “no longer men.” Others opened up about things they had never shared, not even with their wives.
As each story was met with nods of recognition instead of judgment, something visible shifted. Shoulders dropped. Eyes softened. Laughter – the relieved kind – broke out when men realised their deepest shame was shared collectively.
Several participants spoke of feeling lighter while others said they finally felt hope.
The Ripple Effect: From Individual Men to Healthier Families and a Safer Enugu.
1.For the Men Themselves Shame evaporated as men discovered they were not failures – they were human beings carrying impossible loads alone. Many described the day as “the first time I ever felt truly understood as a man.”
2. For Their Physical and Mental Health Bottled emotions were released, stress levels plummeted, and dangerous coping mechanisms were replaced with practical pathways forward. Men with sexual health concerns left committed to seeing qualified doctors instead of buying untested herbal mixtures from the roadside – a quiet but potentially life-saving shift.
3. For Their Families Husbands pledged to start talking honestly with their wives instead of withdrawing or exploding. Fathers vowed to model emotional honesty for their sons, breaking generations of toxic silence.
4. For Enugu Society By giving men a safe outlet, the forum reduced the chances that unprocessed pain would spill into domestic violence, bar fights, or road rage.
Community leaders who attended said they would immediately begin planning smaller safe-space gatherings in churches, workplaces, and neighbourhoods.
WhatsApp groups were created for ongoing support, and monthly men’s conversations are already being scheduled for continued support.
In one afternoon, Enugu took a concrete step toward lower rates of suicide, hypertension, substance abuse, and gender-based violence – all because men were finally allowed to speak.
Voices from the Room (names changed, words unchanged)
Emeka, 44, an entrepreneur: “I walked in here convinced I was the only man failing at home. Hearing every single person open up about similar struggles showed me these challenges are part of being a man in today’s world. For the first time in years, I left feeling normal instead of broken.”
Ifeanyi, 38, a civil servant: “Stress is unavoidable, but most of it is self-inflicted. We kill ourselves trying to keep up with people who don’t even notice us. From today, I have learnt to live within my income, stop unnecessary competition, and guard my peace – that alone has lifted a huge burden off my chest.”
Olalere, 51, pharmacist and father of three: “Many conflicts we have over sex stem from ignorance about women’s hormonal changes, especially perimenopause. When we understand biology instead of taking low libido personally, we replace arguments with empathy and support. Learning this has already begun to restore peace in my home.”
A Turning Point, Not Just an Event: The Men’s Safe Space Forum was never meant to be a one-off. It was the spark.
It proved that when men feel safe, they will talk – and when men talk, lives are saved, marriages are restored, children are protected, and entire communities become healthier.
The Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation has shown the way. Now Enugu’s men are walking it – together.
The about the Author: Rev. Chukwudiebube Nwachukwu, Founder of Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation (CALMHAF) and trained-cum-passionate mental health practitioner/specialist.
