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(FLOWERBUD NEWS)  Everyone is involved in some kind of self-justification of all sorts of slight misconducts, such as telling a white lie (“I didn’t want to harm her emotions”).

Even when you discover that your girlfriend has cheated on you, it’s not the end of the word. We are all animals, after all, attracted to other beings.

forgivness is crucial when you talk about a deep, mature love. You likely would love to interact or already was interacting with other women, while still choosing to be with your girlfriend above all. Infidelity doesn’t have to mean lack of love, but it’s definitely making trusting another person much harder.

When some people mostly focus on how to catch a cheater, it’s definitely better to work on the connection with your partner and avoid a few common reasons why women cheat in a relationship.

You’re going to justify these misdeeds by claiming you’re sparing the feelings of someone else, or just doing them because you didn’t have any option. However, your capacity to rationalize could be extended beyond acceptable limits in the event of the much bigger wrongdoing of family infidelity.

According to a study conducted by Michele Jeanfreau, a scientist of the University of Southern Mississippi, although marriage infidelity is “commonly recorded and witnessed,” it “continues incomprehensible”. The scientists notice that what is especially puzzling is the reality that individuals will choose to be unfaithful rather than trying a distinct path to seek treatment or find methods to transmit their unmet requirements to their peers. The aim of the tiny, centred women’s interview research by the team was to dig deep into the rational wives used to explain their infidelity.

At a basic level, conduct you consider incompatible with your faithful and loyal values should cause a type of mental dissonance between your actions and your beliefs. Then, the Southern Mississippi squad indicates, to have an affair, you must grant yourself “approval.” They compare this need for a right-wrong law with the military combat situation of troops. In this case, “Permission” to kill provides an alternative set of principles to those who value human life that justifies the need to take the lives of enemy soldiers.

While infidelity varies from murder in conflict, in both circumstances a state of cognitive dissonance happens. Using a structure created to understand troops of these mental states, Jeanfreau, and her peers thought that they could obtain more insight into how women who cheat decrease their dissonance.

If these ideas seem unreasonable, or that justifying infidelity should hardly be the same as justifying the act of murder, considering the cognitive dissonance system as one that could shed light on what individuals do when they drink is nevertheless of importance. You have to modify your conduct or your views to decrease cognitive dissonance, but if the conduct has already taken place, you can only alter your views to decrease the anxiety connected with this unpleasant state.

Remember, too, that the hypothesis underlying this research is that failure to adhere to this concept is, in reality, an infringement of the fundamental importance of the partnership when marriage couples undertake to be loyal rather than working under other regulations. (They were monogamous females researched by the group.)

Jeanfreau et al. carried out their research on a tiny homogeneous sample of four divorced females who were all accepted to infidelity. Recognizing that this is pilot research, the group did not seek to generalize to a bigger population but to “explain and comprehend respondents ‘ experiences.” Interviews in depth can function as a significant bridge between theory and bigger, well-controlled research. Because the writers did not try to generalize to a bigger population, from their interview transcripts they structured their results around content topics and citations. Indeed, the strategy taken by the group appears to be particularly appropriate to the investigation topic:

By taking their participants ‘ perspectives, the scientists could attempt to reconstruct what problems the females encountered, instead of enforcing their open-ended answers a preset set of classifications. Using their “wicked” strategy justification as a guide, the writers nevertheless had at least one theoretical structure that they could study to suit their respondents ‘ lived experiences.

With this in mind, here are the four factors are given by the females in the sample, together with some quotes from relevant parts of their interviews:

1. Revenge

Many females who cheat, after being severely harmed, get vengeance on their mates. Affairs can do a ton of harm, but females find a single warm guy instead of weeping with their mates and show him precisely how much it hurts to learn that your spouse has cheated you. Not smart, really, but understandable… Only so much can be accomplished by yelling, and the pain is severe. It can readily block rational thinking, and it could be pushed into pay-back even someone who understands two wrongs.

2. It’s Boring In The Bedroom

Men aren’t the only people that need the stuff to spice up. “Women must be wanted!” If she doesn’t have to speak about anything, enough, or anything, females begin to feel a sexual void.

3. Feeling Neglected

Another prevalent cause of problems is feeling ignored. Women just can’t afford to be careless, and if they don’t get it at home, they’re going to get it from outside males. But one thing can contribute to another, and being subjected to flattery that is so uncommon can create talking into her bed so much simpler for a charming womanizer. Well, I don’t understand if it’s going to get outcomes, and any day I would suggest a conversation about a fling, but that’s understandable as well. Don’t stand for neglect!

4. Jealousy

Have you ever been so sexy with a guy that no female can assist herself in his vicinity? Whether it’s a suggestive smile or a beverage, he never seems to be able to escape the watching crowds, and it can make you feel insecure, particularly if you feel like an ordinary Jane next to him, which is why females with beautiful children are boosting their trust by bringing another guy to sleep. It shows that they are also a head-turner, making them feel much more confident, but remember that it could leave your relationship in tatters, and it won’t solve the problem of jealousy.

5. Feeling A Relationship Ending

“When a female gets that uncomfortable feeling that a connection is on the outset, she will often try to fill the gap outwardly to soften the thrust,” he said. “If she is the one who considers the divorce, she may use this strategy as a test to both test the waters for herself and then determine whether she can go through it.”

6. Replacement

A surprising number of females confessed to cheating to discover their next spouse so when they left their present spouse they would not be single. Shocked? I’ve been! Cheating your partner can’t attract you to prospective boyfriends after all, right? Well, it seems more and more is occurring. I can’t get this one around my head. If you want to quit, go, and if it’s essential to quickly replace him with a fresh person, put yourself in blind dates, dating velocity and evenings out. But be honest!

7. Change

Change can trigger an affair to be sought by a female. From the obvious, like getting a child, to easy items like changing home, an affair will create her feel sexy and appealing and offer some substance to her life until it finishes. Take a babysitter, book a night out, and do your spouse a true attempt. Try a fresh name and a wig. Create the same impact, but get your Mr. Right involved or you might lose him!

8. Seeing Yourself As Just Plain Bad

If your dissonance is caused by seeing yourself as living according to a high moral code, you can reduce the dissonance by seeing yourself as having “primitive or antisocial attitudes, impulses, and actions”. If you were a better person, in other words, you wouldn’t be cheating. However, you’re flawed, and therefore in a way can’t help yourself.

The basic assumption of the Mississippi research is that married or involved people with problems experience cognitive dissonance that they have to reduce in some manner, shape, or form. Giving ones self “approval” is one of those elements, and all of these four factors fit within that framework.

To attain fulfillment in your lives, whether in friendships or daily actions, is to see your principles as coherent with your behavior. Because we want to be compatible with our beliefs and conduct, infringement of our principles can be so difficult.

When such dissonance occurs in your closest relationship, as the authors of the study note, it may be time to take stock before acting on the impulses that require permission. Although it is simpler to beg for forgiveness than consent, as the saying goes, communicating with your spouse in this situation may prevent you from doing either.

There’s no ideal connection. However, if you still want to be together and attempt to work it out when things eventually get tough, what makes it fairly damn near to ideal. You need to know and be ready to evaluate why she did it to fix the connection. Taking someone back doesn’t necessarily make you a fool; seeing beyond that betrayal requires a bunch of power, patience, and self-assurance. Would you like to understand if you are a doormat? Ask yourself if you think it’s just a one-time error or the first time it’s done.

(FLOWERBUD NEWS)  During the Sallah celebration, the Sharo festival which has not been held in many years, was organized in Zamfara.

It was an avenue to bring repentant bandits, other Fulani and farmers in the state together.

Traditional wrestling, popularly known as Kokowa was a major part of the event, which Daily Trust on Sunday gathered was part of the conflict resolution techniques of Governor Bello Muhammad Matawalle.

For a long time, I did not visit Gusau, not even the local government headquarters. This is because we were confined to the forest. We were carrying guns and attacking communities in retaliation of attacks on us by Yan Sakai.

“But when I heard that the Sharo festival was being organized by the government in Gusau, I decided to attend and even participate. It is indicative of one thing; that the bad days are over. I saw a lot of my brothers who were holding rifles in the bush at the event also,” a repentant bandit identified as Ali Baderu, said.

Wielding sticks and dressed in different colourful attires, the Fulani, especially the repentant bandits trooped to the venue of the festival in their hundreds. The Fulani, accompanied by their local musicians were in a joyful mood.

They all danced to the tunes of the musical bands. It was a celebration galore as Fulani women carrying calabashes also gyrated to the beautiful melodies emanating from different angles.

“I came along with my husband. He is partaking in the Sharo activities. We came here from Birnin Magaji Local Government Area. Though my husband was never a bandit, he is in support of anything that would bring the much needed peace to our communities,” a housewife called Malema Dan Sani, said.

Another guest identified as Hadejo Dan Mallam said he never thought that things would normalize. He said at the peak of the crisis, he thought he would end his life in the forest, adding that herders could not attend local markets just as farmers found it difficult to work on farms.

“The situation dealt a deadly blow to the relationship between two friends; farmers and herders. It really affected our pysche as human beings but with the efforts of this administration, things are gradually returning to normal. Wounds are healing and broken fences are being mended.

“One thing that excited me was when I saw a resident of Gidan Kaso in Birnin Magaji Local Government Area. He was one of my greatest enemies; we went after each other and even wanted to kill one another. But when we met here, we   exchanged greetings,” he added.

He said moving out of the bush to attend any event before the peace accord was unthinkable for the Fulani, adding that several of them could not travel due to the acrimonious relationship between herders and farmers.

A leader of the Fulani clan told Daily Trust on Sunday that he came along with his people, adding that the ceremony had become a turning point in the farmers/herders relationship.

“When we were called upon and given an olive branch we accepted it in the spirit of forgiveness. All sides, farmers and herders have suffered. We asked ourselves, can we continue like this? As human beings, what were we created for, killing or helping humanity? So, we decided to accept the peace offer and here we are,” he said.

Our correspondent who spoke to several farmers, largely of Hausa extraction, was told that despite the ‘‘brutal attacks’’ on their communities by bandits, they were trying hard to put everything behind them.

“More than 30 people, including my two younger brothers and a son were killed in my community of Dangurgu in Dansadau district in Maru Local Government Area. I saw some of the armed men who were terrorizing our district, but what do I do other than to submit to the will of Almighty Allah,”  one of them said.

Apart from Sharo, other traditional activities such as traditional wrestling and boxing also took place with a lot of participants showcasing their talents.

The Director, Press Affairs, Zamfara Government House, Alhaji Yusuf Idris, told our correspondent that the event was organised to wipe out hatred and bring people together in the spirit of forgiveness, adding that the festival has come to stay.

Governor Matawalle, his deputy, Barrister Mahdi Aliyu Gusau, the chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Alhaji Ibrahim Mallaha, and other top government officials arrived the venue of the event clad in typical Fulani attire with the accompanying sticks.

Matawalle flagged off the Sharo, by hitting a participant with a stick. Earlier, the governor noted that the on-going peace accord has assured Fulani in the state that the present administration is sincere in its resolve to uphold its part of the bargain.

“The Sharo festival is to ensure that all aggrieved persons forgive one another for a clean slate in Zamfara State, and I have confidence that our initiative is paying off as our rural dwellers can testify to what I’m saying,” he added.

Matawalle said the celebration was to show the world that peace has come to stay and it would be sustained for the purpose of having a united Zamfara State, where everyone can move around freely without fear of attack or molestation.

He added that the peace initiative of his administration would continue, to ensure the protection of people’s lives and property in the state and by extension, the country at large.

Governor Matawalle also commended President Muhammadu Buhari for supporting the peace initiative in Zamfara State, describing him as a compassionate leader.

He assured of his administration’s continued efforts to build confidence in citizens of the state through the establishment of economically viable programmes that would have direct bearing on people of the state.

The governor also hailed security agencies in the state for their support.

It would be recalled that the governor had promised to organise the long forgotten traditional Fulani Sharo during the Sallah festivities if the peace process initiated by his administration succeeded, in order to show the world that peace has returned to  Zamfara State and to boost the confidence of investors. CULLED DAILY TRUST.

The Deputy President of the Senate, Sen. Ovie Omo-Agege, has condemned the  violent attack on former Deputy  President of the Senate in the eighth senate ,Sen.Ike Ekweremadu, by some members of the proscribed Indigenous Peoples of Biafra (IPOB).

The event took place in Nuremberg, Germany.

Omo -Agege made condemnation in a statement by his Special Adviser on Media  and Publicity, Mr Yomi Odunuga in Abuja on Sunday.

He said the dastardly act  was not only an exportation of irrationality, but also an international affront against the image of the  Igbos and Nigeria in general.

He  expressed shock over the undeserved assault and called on law enforcement agencies in Germany to investigate and bring to book the perpetrators of  the attack.

He said: “Sen. Ekweremadu honoured the invitation of patriotic Igbos in Germany who wanted him to deliver a keynote address at the event  organised to commemorate the new yam festival.

“But some aggressively discourteous elements hijacked the effort to perpetrate a disgraceful assault that seeks to deepen the portrayal of members of the IPOB as enemies of democratic norms and values.

“What they did is not only a violent assault against the good image of the Igbo race across the world.

“It is also an aggressive attack against the traditional norms  of a people  known to be hardworking and respectful of meaningful contributions by leaders such as sen. Ekweremadu.

“Such disappointing physical abuse also grossly disregards Ekweremadu’s democratic antecedents and his long-standing commitment to the cause of his people.

“Such criminal attack along with other anti-social attempt, to accuse, condemn and lynch anyone remains utterly condemnable and illegal.”

Omo -Agege said it was  notwithstanding whether the attack took place on Nigerian or foreign soil, it was the “easiest invitation to anomie.” (NAN).

As 10 others collect tricycle, motorcycle, fridge, TV prizes

Two lucky Nigerians, including a 64-year-old bricklayer, Mr. Iyowun Ezekiel and 20-year-old artisan, Godwin Godday, have emerged the latest winners of Star prize GAC Saloon cars in the ongoing Dangote Cement ‘Bag of Goodies’ national consumer promo.

Elated Ezekiel, who is based in Ijebu-ode, Ogun state and has been a bricklayer for over 40 years, found his prize-winning scratch card in one of the Dangote cement promo bags he bought from a distributor in Ijebu-Mushin. On the other hand, Godday, who is the youngest winner of the Star prize so far, found his winning scratch card in Ikorodu, Lagos.

Both star prize winners were given the keys to their brand new cars by top Dangote Cement officials at different handing-over ceremonies in Ijebu-ode and Ikorodu, alongside 10 other lucky promo winners, who carted home various prizes including a tricycle, a motorcycle, 8 refrigerators and two television sets; to the admiration of other Dangote Cement consumers, distributors and the general public.

While Mr. Akintaye Oluwagbemiga won a tricycle, Mr. Kamilu Audu won a motorcycle.Interestingly, Mr. Solomon Dayo won three out of the seven refrigerators presented at the Ikorodu event, while Messrs. Ohemu Friday, Innocent Agbo-James, Ransome Watels and Kehinde Adeagbo went home with one refrigerator each. There was also the presentation of television sets to Mr. Dare Olajide and Mr. Oluwadare Gbenga.Likewise, Mr. Imam Adebisi Abdulhakeem, who won a refrigerator, collected his prize at the Ijebu-ode venue.

Handing over the car keys to Ezekiel in Ijebu-ode, National Sales Director, Dangote Cement Plc, Mr. Adeyemi Fajobi told those gathered at the Local Government office that the cement promo is real and that there are many more choice prizes to be won.

According to him, all a consumer has to do is to buy the Dangote Cement products and open the bag, adding that whatever is stated on the scratch card is automatically won by the buyer, when taken to any approved depot for the redemption of the prizes.

The National Sales Director added, “Only Dangote can do this. This is a promise fulfilled. Some people were skeptical when this promo began but today, this is proof of our sincerity”.

Also, Regional Director, Lagos/Ogun, Dangote Cement Plc, Mr. Tunde Mabogunje, while handing over the various prizes in Ikorodu, said excited consumers have been coming forward to collect their prizes in the ongoing promo.

According to him, scores of people have come to redeem their winning scratch cards for recharge cards worth Thousands of Naira, pointing out that the promo is a deliberate effort at rewarding the consumers. He also said the company is happy that the consumers are winning.

Head, Route to Market, Dangote Cement Plc, Olukayode Akin-Bamidele said the promo was put up by the President of the Dangote Group, Aliko Dangote to reward consumers’ patronage.

Ezekiel, who in a display of euphoria danced to the podium to claim his Star Prize of a GAC saloon car in Ijebu-ode, Ogun State, added dash to his win by sending a typed letter of appreciation to the Chairman of Dangote Cement Plc, Aliko Dangote.

The lucky star prize winner, who said he has been a bricklayer for over 40 years, expressed profound gratitude to Aliko Dangote and the Dangote Cement company for the ongoing promo, which has so far empowered thousands of Nigerians as winners of various prizes.

While celebrating his win with his son, Tayo Ezekiel (also a bricklayer) and members of his outfit, who donned “Thank you Dangote” t-shirts, Ezekiel disclosed that he had not won anything before until now, and enthused that the Dangote Cement ‘Bag of Goodies’ promo is a reality which has greatly helped Nigeria.

Speaking on how he emerged the star prize winner, Godday, who couldn’t take his education beyond Primary School due to lack of funds, said he was always watching out for winning cards in any cement bag he opened as a concrete mixer at a building site. He commended Dangote Cement for putting up the promo to alleviate poverty in the country.

The Dangote Cement ‘Bag of Goodies’ promo, which began nationwide in July and is to run till September ending, has so far yielded numerous winners of prizes in various categories.

Among other unique gifts, a total of 43 brand new cars, cash prizes of N200 million, 24 tricycles, 500 refrigerators, 24 motorcycles, 400 television sets, generators, Goodies packs, are available for winners in a promo, which has generated so much excitement among Nigeria, with over 21 million lucky winners targeted.

By Christian Ogbonna
No fewer than 10,000 traders in various markets in Bayelsa have benefited from the Federal Government’s tradermoni free interest loan empowerment scheme, an official has said.

Mr Taiwo Tunmobi, the officer in charge of Strategy and Operations in the Government Enterprise and Empowerment Programme (GEEP), on Thursday said this in Yenagoa at the end of the exercise.

Tunmobi said that over 20,000 traders had earlier registered for the programme but 10,000 were considered in the first batch of beneficiaries.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Federal Government delegation went to major markets in the state capital, including Tombia-Etegwe roundabout, Okaka market and others, disbursing N10,000 to the 10,000 persons shortlisted for the scheme.

He urged beneficiaries to make good use of the money and ensure that they pay back at the stipulated time to enable government to do more for them.

According to the GEEP officer, two options were given to the beneficiaries to repay the loan after two weeks –either to make daily payment of N85.00 or N430.00 weekly payment to the tradermoni account of the Federal Government in any bank of their choice.

“Those who finish the repayment of their first loan on time stand the opportunity to receive higher amount of N15,000 and so on.

“The Federal Government has a very big plan for the empowerment of small scale enterprises.

“The programme is for the Federal Government to empower traders, artisans and it makes it easier for young entrepreneurs to grow their businesses.

“Of course, our targets are micro business SMEs; these are people who typically have zero access to credit.

“As the government helps them to grow their businesses, their families will benefit and the economy will also benefit”, Tunmobi added.

Some of the beneficiaries expressed appreciation to the Federal Government for the gesture.

The chairman of Tombia-Etegwe roundabout market, Mrs Felicia Okwodejo, thanked the government and the organisers of the programme for making her a beneficiary.

She urged beneficiaries to ensure that they pay back the money as and when due.

NAN

President Muhammadu Buhari has felicitated with renowned chartered accountant, iconic leader and legendary teacher, Chief Akintola Williams, who turns a centenarian on Aug. 9.

In a statement by his Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Mr Femi Adesina, in Abuja on Friday, Buhari congratulated the elder statesman for many honours and pride brought to Nigeria and Africa.

He commended Chief Williams for his pioneering and pace setting roles, laying the foundation for many institutions in the country, which included Nigerian Stock Exchange and Institute of Chartered Accountants.

According to him, these institutions have long turned into strong pillars of the Nigerian economy.

As first chartered accountant in Africa, the President believed Williams’s prudent utilisation of time from his youth, and a proclivity for looking beyond circumstances, separated him early for global recognition.

He said this had turned him into an institution that many would continue to study and draw inspiration from.

Buhari extolled the centenarian’s adventurous spirit of seeking and taking up challenges like music, arts and promotion of culture.

He added that this underscored his willingness to always serve the country and move it to greater heights through knowledge, wisdom and counsels to leaders.

The President joined family, friends and professional colleagues in celebrating with Williams, and for achieving the feat of inspiring the largest professional services firm in Nigeria with Deloitte & Touche.

He prayed that the almighty God would grant Chief Williams health and strength to continue serving God, the country and humanity.

NAN

By Sani Abdulrahman

Ram sellers in Kaduna on Friday expressed dismay over low sales, barely two days to the Eid-el-Kabir festival.

Major ram markets including Zango, Bachama road, Rigasa and others within Kaduna metropolis had recorded low patronage amidst availability of many rams.

Alhaji Idris Saminaka, a livestock trader at Bachama Road market, told the News Agency of Nigeria that most of them had given up on their expectations of huge boom in rams’ sales.

Saminaka said he had sold only 15 out of the 80 rams he brought to Kaduna four weeks ago.

“The economic situation has contributed to the low patronage and is affecting even our pockets.

“The hope we have is very small, as the festival is two days from now, we pray to make some sales before then to enable us go home with smiling faces.

“Returning the animals to Saminaka will be a great loss to me because of the expenses incurred transporting them and feeding them here in Kaduna,” he said.

Saminaka said prices of the animals ranged from N40, 000 to N100, 000.

Another ram dealer, Yakubu Danlasan, also blamed current economic situation amidst other responsibilities as responsible for the low sales being recorded.

“The Naira doesn’t have much value now, present economic situation has now become a factor to consider while spending money, people now spend money on what they can afford, it is not eazy to us selling the rams and also the buyers.

“We would like to at least make little profit on what we spent feeding and paying for stalls for our animals, but the customers don’t realize that.

“Although people want to buy rams for the festival, they cannot afford to due to the economic situation in the country.”

Danlasan believed that the price would crash as many traders would not want to return back with the animals.

According to him, some of the traders bought the rams from Niger Republic, Sokoto, Zamfara and Katsina States.

“Though our hope is very slim, since we have only two days before the celebration, buyers may decide to buy rams between today and tomorrow and continue with other preparations, “ Danlasan said.

Yusha’u Mutukaraba, a seasonal ram seller at Zango market, blamed the low patronage as a result of the rise on the cost of breeding livestock.

“The patronage is low because the animals are costly, we are not willing to sell below the expenses of transporting and fending for the animals we incurred, business is done in order to make profit,” he said.

Mutukaraba, however, said that they would eventually break the prices hopefully after the Eid prayers in order to get money to take care of other problems.(NAN)